The popularity and acceptance of fetishes in today's society
Interest in fetish and kink is far more common than many people assume. Acceptance has been slower to follow.
In short
- In one Belgian survey, 46.8% of 1,027 adults had tried at least one BDSM-related activity.
- Of 55 sexual fantasies in another survey, only two were statistically rare.
- Researchers argue that these interests should not be treated as a disorder.
- Stigma remains: a 2022 study found more of it towards BDSM practitioners than towards gay and lesbian people.
Fetish and kink interests are common in the general population, and researchers have argued that they should not be treated as unusual. What the research shows about attitudes is less encouraging.
How common are fetish and kink interests?
More common than most people expect. In a survey of 1,027 people in Belgium, 46.8% had tried at least one BDSM-related activity, and a further 22% had fantasised about one. About 12.5% took part regularly. Men reported more interest than women, and younger people reported more than those aged 48 to 65.
The researchers concluded that interest this widespread argues against stigmatising these interests or treating them as a disorder. It is one country's figures, so the numbers elsewhere may differ.
Holvoet and colleagues, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2017: a survey of 1,027 people, representative of Belgium's general population.
Are unusual fantasies really unusual?
Mostly they are not. A survey of 1,516 adults asked about 55 sexual fantasies. Only two turned out to be statistically rare and nine unusual, while thirty were common for women, men or both. Themes of submission and domination were common for both sexes.
The authors advised care before labelling any fantasy as unusual, let alone deviant, and suggested looking at what a fantasy does to a person rather than at what it contains.
Joyal, Cossette and Lapierre, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2015: an internet survey of 1,516 adults, 799 women and 717 men.
Has acceptance caught up?
Not entirely. In a 2022 study, 257 people recruited online each answered stigma questions about one of three groups: BDSM practitioners, gay and lesbian people, or people in romantic relationships. Stigma towards BDSM practitioners scored highest of the three.
The authors read this as a sign that attitudes towards BDSM have not moved as far as attitudes towards gay and lesbian people.
Perceptions of and stigma toward BDSM practitioners, Current Psychology, 2022: 257 participants recruited online.
What this means when you are looking for someone
Many people share your interests, and many still keep them private. That is a good reason to look for people in a place made for it, where nobody has to explain themselves first.